May 15, Eden

by Eden Swartz

This is Mayim. May 15, 2012

Mayim is 3 years old.  Today.  Today was a good day.  Mayim lives his life out loud and it is always an adventure with Mayim.  At the grocery store today, he threw a fit because he wanted that stupid fucking shopping cart that has this big car in the front that he can ride in.  I never choose that cart, it is horribly difficult to maneuver.  Plus, Mayim jumps in and out of it and runs around like a crazy person all over the store.  I caved today because it his birthday.  Then, in the baking aisle, he threw a major fit because he wanted a bag of big marshmallows.  The kid is obsessed with marshmallows.  I gave in, again, because it his birthday.  However, I told him that he could not eat any until after dinner, for dessert.  Then, he threw a gigantic fit because I would not let him eat any in his tiny, disgusting, plastic car/shopping cart.  Everyone was looking over at us, he is LOUD.  I told him that if he did not stop crying about the (damn) marshmallows, I would not buy them for him.  He stopped crying.  We made it through the rest of our shopping without incident.  He was very good about not jumping out of his car and running away, until the very end of the shopping excursion.  He snuck away from me as I was unloading the cart onto the conveyor belt.  I found him, snug inside his tiny car, opening a pack of bubble gum.  I was pissed.  What a little sneak!  I took the gum away and explained to him that he could not take a pack of gum and open it without asking.  This time his tantrum was deafening.  People were craning their necks to see who the evil mom was.  I let him cry for a bit.  Then, caved again.  It was his birthday, for crying out loud.  What else was I supposed to do?   He chewed happily all the way home.

May 14, Eden

by Eden Swartz

Birthday Eve. May 14, 2012

On this night, nearly three years ago, I was enormously pregnant.  I was so uncomfortable and so miserable, that having a C-section sounded like a fabulous idea.  I cried a lot when I was pregnant.  It was the best kind of crying; sobbing and wailing.  It was a wonderful release.  I cried like that almost every day of both of my pregnancies, then once the babies were out, no more.  The midwife gave me a sleeping pill for this night, almost three years ago.  I took it and slept for half the night.  I woke up in the wee hours, feeling ready but quite nervous.  Aaron and I had to be at the hospital early in the morning.  It was a Friday.  We drove to the hospital, got settled in the birthing room, I changed into a hospital gown and walked into the OR.  They sat me on the table, and gave me the spinal right away.  I leaned forward onto Aaron, rounding my spine so the anesthesiologist could insert a needle in between my vertebrae.  I remember the sickening sense that half my body was completely numb, and the complete helplessness as they laid me back onto the table.  I met the surgeon, I do not remember his name.  One of the midwives was with me, Chris.  She was my angel during the surgery.  They started the operation.  The only sensation I could feel was a lot of tugging and pulling on my insides.  At one point, I had to throw up.  Chris helped me.  She stroked my hair and told me everything was going well, continuously reassuring me.  It was a very quick operation, but the minutes felt long.  Finally, at 10:00 am I heard one of the most magnificent sounds of my life, my baby crying.  I started crying.  I was so happy to hear him, loud and angry.  It was the sound of good health.  He was normal and healthy and here.  You see, during my pregnancy, they told me there could be something wrong with him – I had too much amniotic fluid.  They said it might mean something and it might mean nothing.  Horrible, unhelpful words.  But, he arrived, loud and strong and vibrant.  I cried with relief and joy.  The nurses cleaned him, measured and weighed him, wrapped him up in a tight little burrito and handed him to Aaron.  Aaron immediately brought my baby over to me, he put our heads together.  It was our first meeting.  I could see him and feel him, warm and safe.  So much relief flooded through me, from my head to toes, all through my heart and spirit.

Lily

by Teresa Meier

“You’re so sweet, ponies ask for you for their birthday.”

May 13, Eden

by Eden Swartz

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Mother’s Day.  May 13, 2012

May 13, Eden

by Eden Swartz

Matt

by Teresa Meier

Me and Matt

Dominated pavers today.  Patio looks pretty sick.  No drama llamas, but turns out I have an entire horse family.  Matt is also an horse.  Also, I should’ve won the horse off… if anyone says I didn’t, they’re just wrong.  And probably a drama llama. And also, Matt peed his pants.